I woke in a weird mood this morning because I had a pretty weird dream. After daily morning routine, I learnt that today marks the 9th birthday of my blog. 9 years ago, I registered Boredom Is Fun Sometimes to WordPress. It was https://zeroempathy.wordpress.com back then, but the blog title was Boredom Is Fun Sometimes. I tried to remember my life then. I was living in Bursa for one year, working in automotive industry, loving the job I was doing but hating the city I was living, single and living alone. I can remember all my life in detail but remembering the way how I feel and how I think makes me puzzled because I feel like it was someone else who was living my life. I was 27, quite a mature age I guess but the way I acted and living my life was not that mature. Everytime I remember those days, there’s only one thing I say to myself:
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?
Don’t get me wrong, though 2009 was a very tough year for me, I don’t regret anything. If I had a chance to go back in time, I’d do the exact same things and make the exact choices. I wouldn’t change a fucking single thing. Because now I know that everything happens for a reason, everything good or bad is a lesson to learn in life, everyone I met was here to teach me something. I learnt and still learning my lessons. I would still cut the same people off from my life, still act like a lunatic, pose like a poser, talk like I know everything, pretend that my life was perfect while suffering from depression, drink until I pass out, eat Haribo for breakfast and potato chips for dinner, living a self-centered life aaaalll the way.
Well, as long as you are happy where you are and how you are at the very moment, there shouldn’t be regrets concerning the past you have. And I let go of mines long time ago. If I knew that the steps were heading up here where I feel right now, I would have let that shit go long before.
So happy anniversary dear blog! For old time’s sake, here’s a song for us two.