52 Journal Questions ∴31

Week 31: What is your dream job?

Believe it or not, that’s the question I’ve been asking myself for the last 18 years.

I always thought that my “dream job” must be with animals. I’ve dreamt of being a vet but it was impossible because even now, I can’t even look at Carlos while Mr. T cuts her nails. I can’t take it when an animal suffers. I immediately break down and collapse. I mean I don’t have any problem with seeing blood or anything. The desperation of a vulnerable being devastates me. 

I’m almost 37 and for the last 6 years I’m not working. Those past 6 years were the best years of my life but at the same time, I did have difficult times. I feel myself one of the luckiest people in this world because I don’t have to do something I hate doing; I don’t have a job that I hate. I was lucky enough to choose what I want to do and I choose to stay home, WE did this choice with my husband. People tried to talk down to me because I became a “housewife”. They even tried to justify their obligation to work over my choice to stay at home, they belittled my choice. I’ll be honest, at first it affected me negatively. I felt guilty, useless, lazy… But then I realized how happy I am. How happy this choice and lifestyle makes me and how it changes me positively. 

Do you think that I’d care about your damaging projection of your unhappiness and insecurites on me? FUCK NO! 

When you know what is and who is good or best for you, you do stop giving a fuck. Because if someone can’t be supportive and doesn’t even want to understand or doesn’t try to emphatize with your situation or simply just can’t be happy for you, you REALLY stop giving a fuck and wish these people love and hope them to be happy with their choices.

Briefly, I don’t have and never had a dream job or a dream career and I’m fine with it. I’m more than fine, I’m extremely fine about it 

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